Wednesday, December 31, 2008

It's All in the Name

It's a nightmare for the broadcasters and the fans.

No, they are not worried about the chaos broken out on the field, and they don't have the slightest concerns over the maddeningly boring games that we often see.

It's the unrelated namesakes on the same team that will give them the greatest headache of all.

When Real Madrid lost Malian midfielder Mahamadou Diarra for the season due to a knee injury, their unimaginative scouts simply looked up the footballing directory and signed the player whose entry was directly in front of him: French international Lassana Diarra, probably the second-best known soccer-playing Diarra in the world.

Sooner or later, we are going to hear commentary like this during Real's matches:

"Diarra loses possession ... strong tackle by Diarra ... back to Diarra ... a nice one-two between Diarra and Diarra ... Diarra looking for Diarra ... excellent pass by Diarra ... great first touch by Diarra ... Diarra's running unmarked into the middle ... Diarra's found him ... Diarra scores ... with an assist from Diarra!"

At this rate, it won't take long for Real to snap up all the Diarrra's in the world, only if their scouts could find them.

In fact, Real is not the only team with a fondness for unrelated namesakes. In Serie A, Internazionale once boasted two Zanetti's, Javier of Argentina and Cristiano of Italy, in the same midfield for five seasons in a row. In the NFL, the Dallas Cowboys went one step further by acquiring wide receiver Roy Williams from the Detroit Lions in the mid-season, just as their star safety Roy Williams was headed for the injured reserve.

Finally, we go back to Spain. Seven years before Real took the Diarra's out of circulation, their arch-rival, Barcelona, set the bar so high that it is unlikely to be matched by any team. With Dutch midfielder Phillip Cocu firmly entrenched in their starting line-up, they decided to bring in reinforcement from Italy on loan from Milan during the 2001-02 season.

The name of that player? Francesco Coco.

Cocu and Coco ... sounds like something a child sings, and I wonder how the Real fans were taunting them.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Cowboys Questions

Some questions on my beloved Dallas Cowboys lingering in my mind:

Why aren't they getting any interceptions?

Why doesn't Terrell Owens use his arms more often to get away from defensive backs who jam him at the line of scrimmage?

Why isn't Bobby Carpenter playing more?

What is Zach Thomas, with who-knows-how-many concussions and counting, doing in the middle of the defense?

And finally, how on earth are they going to get into the playoffs when they still have to face the Pittsburgh Steelers and Baltimore Ravens?